Tuesday, June 18, 2013

50 Shades of What’evs.

Fifty Shades Trilogy: eBook Bundle

How many of you had read 50 Shades of Grey?


And what did you REALLY think of it?

When I first read about the novels I had added it to my "to-read" list for the simple fact it was a fellow erotic writer. What I started to read it was Twilight fan-fiction I started to vomit a little.Don't get me wrong. I read Twilight and every other book in the series. BEFORE Twilight the movie was even thought about and Stephanie Meyer was still living under a rock. I read a lot of young adult novels. I find them relaxing in an odd sort of way. Then the big boom of Twilight-fanatics hit and I wanted to run the other way. The books were a fun read. Meant for teenagers, not adults. But yet adults seemed to be the biggest voices on how awful the books were. I just turned the other way.  Who cares what the adults thought anyway, they weren't meant for them. However, the movies....gag. I admit, I watched them all. And somehow I actually liked them, but they also sucked. It's hard to explain.

Anyway, Twilight is in the past. Now here I am faced with 50 Shades of Grey. Why? Because when I am not slinging smut I am a book reviewer. And guess what? It became this books turn to grace my website pages. Oh joy.

So I started to dig a little more. "What the hell?" I said to myself. I may as well read them and see what the fuss is about.

All I could find really to give myself peace of mind I needed that this was not just Twilight part 5 million and one in the fan-fic world, I stumbled on this:
 "Fifty Shades" follows the sadomasochistic affair of college graduate Ana Steele and dominant billionaire Christian Grey. Their relationship begins as a purely physical attraction, but as they become engrossed in each other and start to fall in love, Ana realizes Christian's past might not be something she wants to uncover. Christian represents Edward Cullen, a brooding, self-deprecating and impossibly good-looking man with a few secrets, while Ana is an adaptation of the clumsy and shy Bella Swan. Without Meyer's novel, "Fifty Shades" might not exist." MTV.Com and the interview with Stephanie Meyer.

Phew. Ok. So that's the only similarities?

I started to read 2 days ago and I am now 12 Chapters in.

I can SEE now what the fuss is all about.

First, this is nothing new to me. Not the erotica nor the BDSM Dominate submissive world. That's something we will touch on at another time. But let's just say, been there, done that and I am now writing about it.

Second,  my mind says that the person behind these books found all of her BDSM wording from Google and Wikipedia. There are some things she would have mentioned and/or done with her choice of words if she were a real Dominant or even remotely interested in the BDSM world. Or maybe that is just what she wants you to think because the idea about a BDSM story had to come from somewhere! 

 Third, the writer is in London. So, using UK English has a bit of a learning curve for a USA reader. Thankfully my background is Irish and I am all to familiar with the dialect.
Fourth, the sex is there, but its not as graphic as the media is making it out to be. There are far more hardcore and extreme BDSM and Fetish novels out there. Trust me.

Fifth, the grammar and writing suck. Bottom line. It is a fun read, don't get me wrong. My grammar and writing are not perfect but I have an editor. There are just paragraphs that run together, sentences without full structure, and wording that often leaves you hanging. But, I like her style.

There is NO substance in what she writes. Its written in a few conversational tone. I find myself rather bored and just skipping big blogs of paragraph just to get to the dialog between (ok , yes the sex which mind you is not graphic to many) Christian and Ana.

My only problem so far is if I have to read the girl say "oh baby" or "holy fuck" one more time I might just throw up in my mouth a little. I mean, seriously, I have 2.5 more books to go. And they want to make this into a movie???

Oh please.
*eye roll* and *snicker*
Now then.

This book opened up a whole can of worms I was not expecting.

You see, an ex was Dom. (He's the person one of my books is based on) Very much so. When we met, I was too. I think that shows in a lot of my writing.

I had always been the Dom in relationships. Even in my first marriage, which ended up being very Vanilla. That resulted in an open-marriage. Later it ended in divorce for reason unrelated.

Later,I had met a man that was bisexual like myself and it was there I took on a submissive role. Sometimes. Because he was a switcher too. That relationship allowed us to explore so much about ourselves. It pains me to know that he lost his life in December of 2006. That death shook me like a volcano had erupted. I was frightened to my core. Time did not heal this wound, and I doubt it ever will. You see, his best friend, his lover, is also my brother.
Time passed, as it always does. One time I decided to get back on the ride. When I did, this mystery man met me at the door.

While he was not a billionaire who owned his own company like Mr. Grey, he didn't have his own helicopter and drivers, but he was part of an underground group of members back home in Belfast who were very high society. It is because of this group of people that he was killed in 2008. I hid. Not just because of my sadness, but because I went through a brief period where I thought people might actually come looking for me. But then I was forced back in to reality and saw that I had nothing to worry about. The things he told me were very minimal in regards to that side of his life. I knew events. I knew the tragedy.  I had no idea who these people where, nor them I. No names, no faces. Belfast was safe. Edinburgh was safe. But it was no longer welcoming without him. By this time I had already gone through my divorce and traveled across the county. When he was murdered I had no idea what to do with myself. I buried that girl and the BDSM D/s lifestyle with it.
What you see before you is what became of that girl. A girl full of her own stories to tell. A girl who now leads a very different life.

A girl who finds reading 50 Shades of Grey opening up wounds of a relationship long buried.


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About Me

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Detroit based writer of poetic prose, quotes, thoughts, and sometimes, dirty things.